I am a chocoholic, it makes a daily appearance in my life.
I am an avid reader, I am never not in the middle of some book.
I am an exploratory individual, afraid of what the future holds and yet excited to meet it.
I am very family oriented, even when they drive me crazy, I still love them.
I am shy and yet quite outgoing.
I am scared of trying new foods, but working on expanding my horizons.
I am resistant to change, whether it be good or bad.
I am a musical being, always making or listening to some type of music.
I am trying to walk the path that God has laid for me, and even though I know that I take some detours, I am doing my best to stay on track.
Work assignment.
Rachel
Why Blog?
I'm a 22 year college graduate, documenting the things in my life that I want to always remember. The big things, the little things, the crazy things, the everyday things. It gets a bit random at times, and sometimes I like to ponder on the craziness of life. There's nothing earth-shattering here, but I like to think it's all fun to read. Read, leave me comments, ask questions, enjoy.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Lonely Headlights - Dec. 24th
I know that Christmas Eve was many moons ago, but I never got around to posting this. Happy reading!
This is a season of firsts for me. The first time I spent the majority of Christmas Eve away from my family, the first time I was in charge of the music for one of the biggest masses of the year rather than just a participant, the first time I celebrated Christmas Eve mass in a church other than my one at home, the first time that I had to be an "adult" and "have my own life" on an important holiday.
Tonight, as you may have guessed, I had to, I mean got to, spend my afternoon and evening working up at my church in Collegeville. I knew this day was coming, as I had been told before I was even offered the job that Christmas Eve mass was my responsibility, but I didn't expect it to be so hard. I had avoided the thought of it up until late this morning, when I was still in my pj's, and the rest of my family was dressed nicely and headed down to Bloomington. I had a sad couple of hours home alone, and then I headed up to school to make 22 music binders, rehearse my choir for an hour, and then play piano for the pageant and the following mass.
The interesting thing was that it wasn't really that I resented having to be up there tonight. I was upset about missing one of my favorite gatherings of the year, sure, but I have come to love that parish and (most of) the people that are a part of it. In fact, when I reached the Abbey for rehearsal, I was so incredibly happy to be there, and at that point I realized it would have upset me to miss our mass even more than it upset me to be missing Christmas. I had the incredibly opportunity to prepare one of the "big" masses of the liturgical year; picking music, putting together a choir, and watching everything happen just as I had planned. It was a humbling experience, and I am proud to say that I got to do it.
After mass I was thanked over and over again by people I see every weekend and by people that I have never seen before. One of my professors attends this parish, and we have developed a special bond over the past eight years (he was one of my professors in the math program I did in high school, so he's known me for a long time). Tonight, he came over and hugged me as he always does, and told me how proud he was of the "beautiful woman I have become" and that it was bittersweet to him to see me as I am now and remember my high school self. That almost made me cry.
Driving home tonight, alone on a night that should have been spent with loved ones, was a little sad. There were lots of vehicles on the road, and they just got me to thinking. I wonder how many of them were with their loved ones. How many of them were headed home after spending the day enjoying the company of those that matter most. How many of their Christmas Eves were different this year; sadder and yet (hopefully) more fulfilling somehow. And I wonder how many of them were alone. How many were headed towards empty houses to await the arrival of someone who cared. How many of them felt a little lost, a little bereft.
To me, they were all just a set of headlights coming towards me as I made my way home to wait for my family. To me, it was a long and lonely drive, filled only with the company of other lonely headlights heading towards a destination forever unknown.
This is a season of firsts for me. The first time I spent the majority of Christmas Eve away from my family, the first time I was in charge of the music for one of the biggest masses of the year rather than just a participant, the first time I celebrated Christmas Eve mass in a church other than my one at home, the first time that I had to be an "adult" and "have my own life" on an important holiday.
Tonight, as you may have guessed, I had to, I mean got to, spend my afternoon and evening working up at my church in Collegeville. I knew this day was coming, as I had been told before I was even offered the job that Christmas Eve mass was my responsibility, but I didn't expect it to be so hard. I had avoided the thought of it up until late this morning, when I was still in my pj's, and the rest of my family was dressed nicely and headed down to Bloomington. I had a sad couple of hours home alone, and then I headed up to school to make 22 music binders, rehearse my choir for an hour, and then play piano for the pageant and the following mass.
The interesting thing was that it wasn't really that I resented having to be up there tonight. I was upset about missing one of my favorite gatherings of the year, sure, but I have come to love that parish and (most of) the people that are a part of it. In fact, when I reached the Abbey for rehearsal, I was so incredibly happy to be there, and at that point I realized it would have upset me to miss our mass even more than it upset me to be missing Christmas. I had the incredibly opportunity to prepare one of the "big" masses of the liturgical year; picking music, putting together a choir, and watching everything happen just as I had planned. It was a humbling experience, and I am proud to say that I got to do it.
After mass I was thanked over and over again by people I see every weekend and by people that I have never seen before. One of my professors attends this parish, and we have developed a special bond over the past eight years (he was one of my professors in the math program I did in high school, so he's known me for a long time). Tonight, he came over and hugged me as he always does, and told me how proud he was of the "beautiful woman I have become" and that it was bittersweet to him to see me as I am now and remember my high school self. That almost made me cry.
Driving home tonight, alone on a night that should have been spent with loved ones, was a little sad. There were lots of vehicles on the road, and they just got me to thinking. I wonder how many of them were with their loved ones. How many of them were headed home after spending the day enjoying the company of those that matter most. How many of their Christmas Eves were different this year; sadder and yet (hopefully) more fulfilling somehow. And I wonder how many of them were alone. How many were headed towards empty houses to await the arrival of someone who cared. How many of them felt a little lost, a little bereft.
To me, they were all just a set of headlights coming towards me as I made my way home to wait for my family. To me, it was a long and lonely drive, filled only with the company of other lonely headlights heading towards a destination forever unknown.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Hello December
Clearly, I took a hiatus from blog-land while I wrapped up my last first semester. It has been an incredibly busy few weeks: lots of final assignments and papers and tests and finals. And unfortunately for anyone who likes it when I update this, even though it's all over I still don't feel like blogging. Suffice it to say that I am working on packing and cleaning up my place since I'm leaving after church today for the next month. I'm bored, but I can't stop because I don't have too much time left before I go back to work. Maybe sometime during break, I'll get back on here and do a good long update. Have a lovely weekend, and get ready because Christmas is only one week away!
xo Rachel
xo Rachel
Monday, November 22, 2010
Oh How Time Flies
The past week has once again been a blur: it felt so long, but all of the sudden it was Friday and I didn't know where the time had gone. The snow two weekends ago was extremely exciting for me, as was the snow I woke up to this morning. (But it stopped already, and I'm sad about that.) In between the snow, here's what's happened: things got crazy at home when Karen thought she had been bitten by a rabid cat, my dad had surgery on what he thought was a double hernia but turned out to be a triple hernia, I had my three month post-op check-up on my eyes and found out that I may have to get my left eye touched up in May, I've started to wrap up things in some of my classes, I FINALLY finished up Operation Christmas Child (24 shoe-boxes that were all hand wrapped, $168, lots of hours and a treacherous drive to the drop off site later...), Harry Potter came out and Erin, Will and I took Karen to see it at midnight, and I spent over three hours working on a math take home "project" last night and didn't finish. Fun, right?
Anyway, Thanksgiving break starts tomorrow, and then there's only two weeks of classes and a week of finals left before winter break. Then one semester later, I graduate! I can't wait :)
Enjoy the snow, and I'll see some of you sooner rather than later. xo
Anyway, Thanksgiving break starts tomorrow, and then there's only two weeks of classes and a week of finals left before winter break. Then one semester later, I graduate! I can't wait :)
Enjoy the snow, and I'll see some of you sooner rather than later. xo
Friday, November 12, 2010
Veteran's Day
Yesterday was Veteran's Day, and that provided me with a lot of food for thought. First of all, I find it very sad that Veteran's Day has become more about the great sales than it is about the men and women that served our country. Secondly, I really hate it when people think that they don't need to celebrate Veteran's Day because they "don't believe in the war". I'm sorry, but that thought process is awful. Regardless of your opinion on the war, there are people fighting for your freedom, away from their families and loved ones, and they will always need our support. Also, Veteran's Day is about vets from ALL of the past wars, not just the one going on right now.
I have loved ones who are vets, I have loved ones who are currently fighting, I have loved ones who are going to be fighting in a few months, I have loved ones who are planning on joining the services. Veteran's Day is about them, not about the war. In all honesty, every day should be a day to honor the veterans in our lives, but I for one am glad that we have at least one designated day to do so.
That was my indignant spill out for the month :) Love to all, especially those who were and still are involved in the armed forces as well as those of us who love them!
I have loved ones who are vets, I have loved ones who are currently fighting, I have loved ones who are going to be fighting in a few months, I have loved ones who are planning on joining the services. Veteran's Day is about them, not about the war. In all honesty, every day should be a day to honor the veterans in our lives, but I for one am glad that we have at least one designated day to do so.
That was my indignant spill out for the month :) Love to all, especially those who were and still are involved in the armed forces as well as those of us who love them!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Feelings
I have lots of feelings right now.
1.) A little bit of guilt for not having updated this for about three weeks.... sorry about that! Life gets busy, life gets stressful, life gets hard to summarize in blog posts. I'll do my best to do better from now on, otherwise Merideth will really have something to nag me about :)
2.) Excitement and nervousness over my new job... I was officially offered the job as music director at Saint John the Baptist Parish of Collegeville Minnesota before I had even played my second Mass there. I just finished weekend #3 there, and I'm still pretty happy about having gotten the job. However, it will definitely require an adjustment period, both for myself and for the matriarchs of the parish who are used to having things done their way. We'll see who gives in first (I'll give y'all a hint though: it won't be me!) and then things should calm down a bit.
3.) Apprehension over most things school related... my semester next semester is going to be absolutely crazy, some of my classes are a little bit of a struggle right now, and to top it all off, I have to get a new roommate next semester. I filled out the Roommate Questionnaire this morning, but it's hard to portray what kind of person I am just by answering a few questions. I tried hard to be completely honest, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.
4.) Disconnect from my family, and therefore discontent on my part... my mom called me this morning and I found some pretty huge things that happened in my extended family over the past couple of weeks, and I really hate it that I was the last one to find out. It also really drove home the point that no one is unbreakable, even those that we think are.
5.) Fear over what's going to happen after graduation... it's getting ever-closer and I have no idea what I want to do yet.
6.) Joy due to the fact that we finally got our Christmas lights put up a couple of days ago... it was long overdue! We had a fun night of friends, Harry Potter, and laughter, which was just wonderful. It was also much needed, and I definitely went to bed with a smile on my face Saturday night.
7.) Anticipation... Harry Potter premieres in 10 days. Enough said.
8.) Loneliness with my friends being abroad... I thought that by now I would be used to having them all gone, but not a day goes by when I don't think about them and wish they were here. Next semester will be a whole new ball game with them home again.
9.) Honored... I was asked to play piano in a wedding this summer. A good friend of mine from grade school and high school proposed to his high school sweetheart a couple of weeks ago, and they asked me to play piano for them. It's inexplicable how good that makes a person feel, and I'm really looking forward to helping them celebrate their special day.
10.) Overwhelmed by life in general... it moves so quickly and I feel like I never have the chance to digest one thing before something new and stressful comes along. My fingers are crossed that after I'm done with school I'll be able to get a better handle on that. I know that life only gets crazier as you get older, but I think that not having to worry about writing papers and studying for tests will help.
I think that ten is a good number, so I'm going to quit now. I'll be back soon! xo
1.) A little bit of guilt for not having updated this for about three weeks.... sorry about that! Life gets busy, life gets stressful, life gets hard to summarize in blog posts. I'll do my best to do better from now on, otherwise Merideth will really have something to nag me about :)
2.) Excitement and nervousness over my new job... I was officially offered the job as music director at Saint John the Baptist Parish of Collegeville Minnesota before I had even played my second Mass there. I just finished weekend #3 there, and I'm still pretty happy about having gotten the job. However, it will definitely require an adjustment period, both for myself and for the matriarchs of the parish who are used to having things done their way. We'll see who gives in first (I'll give y'all a hint though: it won't be me!) and then things should calm down a bit.
3.) Apprehension over most things school related... my semester next semester is going to be absolutely crazy, some of my classes are a little bit of a struggle right now, and to top it all off, I have to get a new roommate next semester. I filled out the Roommate Questionnaire this morning, but it's hard to portray what kind of person I am just by answering a few questions. I tried hard to be completely honest, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.
4.) Disconnect from my family, and therefore discontent on my part... my mom called me this morning and I found some pretty huge things that happened in my extended family over the past couple of weeks, and I really hate it that I was the last one to find out. It also really drove home the point that no one is unbreakable, even those that we think are.
5.) Fear over what's going to happen after graduation... it's getting ever-closer and I have no idea what I want to do yet.
6.) Joy due to the fact that we finally got our Christmas lights put up a couple of days ago... it was long overdue! We had a fun night of friends, Harry Potter, and laughter, which was just wonderful. It was also much needed, and I definitely went to bed with a smile on my face Saturday night.
7.) Anticipation... Harry Potter premieres in 10 days. Enough said.
8.) Loneliness with my friends being abroad... I thought that by now I would be used to having them all gone, but not a day goes by when I don't think about them and wish they were here. Next semester will be a whole new ball game with them home again.
9.) Honored... I was asked to play piano in a wedding this summer. A good friend of mine from grade school and high school proposed to his high school sweetheart a couple of weeks ago, and they asked me to play piano for them. It's inexplicable how good that makes a person feel, and I'm really looking forward to helping them celebrate their special day.
10.) Overwhelmed by life in general... it moves so quickly and I feel like I never have the chance to digest one thing before something new and stressful comes along. My fingers are crossed that after I'm done with school I'll be able to get a better handle on that. I know that life only gets crazier as you get older, but I think that not having to worry about writing papers and studying for tests will help.
I think that ten is a good number, so I'm going to quit now. I'll be back soon! xo
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Perkins
There is just something so incredibly healing about spending a few (or more) hours with two wonderful wonderful people; with two women that I can honestly call two of my best friends. These two women were my co-workers first, and have become two of the people that I trust and love above everyone else in my life, and I count myself truly blessed to be able to spend so much time with them. About a month ago, the three of us started a tradition of coming to the St. Cloud Perkins on Monday nights, after our work meetings. Sometimes we actually get homework done, but other times we just sit and talk.... about everything. From work to personal lives to homework to people that we can't stand. We sit in the same booth every week, and we all bring our computers (to do homework; not be on facebook.... and if you believe that, I have a bridge in London I'd like to sell you!) We rock out to the Dixie Chicks and N'SYNC on the way to and from Perks every week, and we have a waitress that we love to hang out with. I love it. I can't even begin to describe how much I love it. These are the times when I know, really know, that God is watching out for me.
Love, Rachel
Love, Rachel
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